Everything I've Hoped For

I don't know who Epicurus is but I really needed to hear these words today, and lately actually. This is so true. I'm married, have a baby, and have my own house. These are seriously things that I only hoped for, longed for, and dreamt about. When I was engaged I wanted to be married, when I was married I wanted a baby, and when I was pregnant with my daughter Anna I dreamt of when we would have a real actual house. And now I have all those things and what do I want? Nicer things. A better house. Sorry God this one isn't good enough.

Seriously??? Check yourself girl!!

Today I want to enjoy all of the beautiful gifts that I have received by the sweet grace of God, that are not perfect when held to some worldly standards, but are perfect for me right now.

Gifts that are seriously luxurious when held to the standard of life that some people in other parts of the world are making do with. How can I complain or wish away what I have, when some women are wondering what they are going to feed their kids that night for supper? Or knowing that their child is sick but there isn't a doctor? Or even clean water?

Why do I bite the hand that feeds me?  How can I be so blind to my life of abundance?

Today I have a new fire in my heart to be truly grateful for what I have, and am challenged to really reflect on what more I can do for those who have less than I do. This isn't a new thought. These are obvious things that I hear every week in Church, or hear beautiful and holy people talk about all the time. Heck, I even talk about this stuff all the time.

I have realized that my eyes and my heart glaze over when hearing or reading about "being thankful" and "helping the less fortunate" because I think that I know these things.

But I don't. Not to the depths of my heart, I don't. But it's days like today when I am lucky enough that it would reach my heart little by little so that I can begin to see.

- Amanda